


I’ll still love you, even if tomorrow doesn’t exist

by ThisBeautifulChaos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coma, Domestic Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Falling In Love, First Love, Flashbacks, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Past Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Relationship Problems, Sad Harry, Tragic Romance, present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 20:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4193409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisBeautifulChaos/pseuds/ThisBeautifulChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles had expected a lot of things that Wednesday morning. He expected him and Louis to make up from their fight the night before. He expected them to kiss and whisper sweet nothings to each other, he expected Louis to tell him goodbye as he leaves for work, Harry straightening his tie on the way out. What he did not expect however is getting a call from the police saying there’s been an accident and he needs to come down to the hospital right away, and he was not especially not prepared for what he saw: the love of his life and his 3 year partner Louis Tomlinson in a coma. During that week Harry has flashbacks of the first time they met and the excitement of new love, all while dealing with his struggling relationship in the present. Harry knows he needs to come to terms with what is happening, but how can he when he has no idea what’s coming next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ll still love you, even if tomorrow doesn’t exist

**Author's Note:**

> Another story!! Yay! Feedback and comments are always appreciated! I don't want to give away any spoilers, but this deals with some pretty heavy stuff so viewer discretion is advised. Other than that, enjoy :)

**Monday:**

“Good morning, love.” Louis Tomlinson says, snuggling up to nuzzle his boyfriend Harry’s neck. 

Harry smiles from the familiarity of Louis’ touch. Of his skin, and his smell. He knew exactly the way Louis would kiss him, soft at first, then slowly bite bruises into his flesh, though he was used to this, he was never ever sick of it. He loved the way he knew the curve of Louis’ body as if it was his own. He loved the way he knew exactly what Louis’ wanted, how to pleasure him. He knew him in other ways as well. His favorite color, his favorite restaurants. He knows that when Louis gets frustrated he is quick to sass back or become guarded. Harry also knows, however, to calm Louis down all he has to do is walk over and kiss him. He knows that Louis loves to sing, but will only do it in the shower. Harry knows that Louis will always put off a douchbaggy vibe, but in reality he is the most kind-hearted, nicest person Harry has ever known. All the little things about him that only Harry knows. Like that his favorite movie is The Notebook even though he’ll tell everyone else it’s The Godfather. He likes to listen to the Grease soundtrack when he’s cleaning. He can’t cook for shit even though he’ll tell all of their friends its him who does the most of it. He hates reading and book stores (he claims they smell like an old person’s closet), even though he goes into them to buy Harry books all of the time. 

“Hello, Lou.” Harry smiles back, leaning his neck to the side to give Louis more access, which he kindly accepts. He kisses up to Harry’s ear, and runs his fingers along Harry’s bare waist, causing goose bumps to rise along his skin. 

“Sleep well?” He asks, his voice muffled as he continues kissing along Harry’s jaw. He lets out a quiet moan, and Louis laughs, his hot breath hitting him. He knew that was Harry’s spot.

“Perfectly, you?” Louis stops kissing him and snuggles even closer, throwing a thin arm around Harry’s chest. 

“Just fine, next to you.” He says happily, intertwining their fingers. Louis runs his finger along Harry’s ring lightly. 

He leans down and plants a kiss on Louis head, “What do you want for breakfast?” Harry asks. Sometimes when Louis is being adventurous, he’ll wake up early and try to cook breakfast for Harry, today though he just smiles lazily and says cereal. Harry smiles at him once more, and pushes off the mattress. Louis moans loudly when the warmth is taken away from him. He grabs onto Harry’s briefs and tugs them, trying to get Harry to stay, instead they fall a little around the hip, his bum coming into show. Louis hums playfully and arches an eyebrow. Harry playfully shoves him off and shakes his head. 

“Later, right now I am going to make you a fabulous breakfast.” Harry grins, “It’s the most important meal of the day.”

Louis’ scoffs happily, running a hand along his stomach “I just want cereal, Haz.” His voice alluring and quiet.

Harry shakes his head, “Eggs, bacon, toast,” Harry smiles when he sees Louis’ eyes light up, “I’m starved.”

He turns to head to the kitchen.

“I’d rather eat you out instead.” Harry hears Louis call from the bedroom. He smiles as he pulls out a pan. How fucking lucky was he?

**Two Years Ago:**

Harry Styles was panicking. He was late for his first ever job interview and he was currently trying to balance three textbooks, a bagel, and a steaming cup of tea, all while trying to open the door to the small cafe he was currently stuck in. Bodies of people fled past, not even giving a glance in his direction. Speed walking women carrying brief cases and talking quickly on telephones, handsome men wearing ties and dress shoes. 

He was going to be late. Harry sighs as he hooks one leg around the door and uses all of his strength to push it open. Once he gets a crack he lets go and quickly slides his body in-between it. He then uses his hips and pushes it open once more, now allowing all of himself to be free of the sugary smelling building. He breathes a sigh of relief as he adjusts his books in his hands. He had a job interview for a small office assistant position in the city. It was a pretty far walk, but it payed okay and Harry needed all of the extra cash he could get. He was living alone in his one bedroom loft, he had just graduated uni four months ago and has been on this search for what feels like ever. 

He starts walking down the sidewalk, balancing his tea and bagel when he feels himself collide into another human being. A burst of pain erupts through his chest as he feels his hot tea seeping through the thin material of his shirt. His bagel and books fall completely, hitting the ground with a thud. Harry gasps and looks down at the mess that is in front of him.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, mate.” He hears the person say, his words rushed. Harry looks up and is met a man who appears to be his age, if not older. He has brown hair and striking blue eyes. He’s beautiful. His tiny fingers are now cupping Harry’s bicep and his eyes are wide in horror. 

“It’s alright.” Harry says quickly as he bends down and starts scooping up the papers that went flying. The boy bends down and starts gathering the books in his tiny arms, he stands as he struggles to hold them. 

“It’s fine, I’ve got them.” Harry says, reaching out and grabbing them. The boy wipes the palms of his hands on the back of jeans and bites his lip, his cheeks still red from embarrassment. 

“I’m Louis.” He then says extending his hand. Harry grins softly and bites his lips. Louis’ eyes travel down to arms full of books, unable to return the handshake. He blushes deeper.

“Are you sure you can carry all of them? They seem like a lot.” Louis says a moment later, cocking an eyebrow. 

Harry smiles once more, “Yeah I’ve lugged them this far.” 

“Do you live far from here?” Louis asks. 

“Nah, just around the corner.” 

Louis nods and awkward silence descends upon them. 

“Well, again, I’m really sorry…” He looks at Harry blankly.

“Harry.” He says, repositioning the books on his hips.

“Harry.” Louis smiles. 

Harry suddenly feels a cool breeze across his chest as he looks down at the now wet stain across his sternum. When he looks back up Louis is blushing once again.

“I hope you don’t have a hot date,” Louis jokes. 

“Just a job interview.” Harry responds and Louis’ smile falls. 

“Oh god, I feel awful—“

“No, seriously, It’s fine,” Harry says quickly. He thinks this boy is too beautiful to frown. Harry watches as Louis brings a dainty finger up to his forehead to fix his fringe. 

“Well you should probably get going then,” Louis says a moment later, biting his lip, “I would hate to make you wet and late.” He immediately cringes and shakes is head.

“That didn’t come out right.” He says immediately after

Harry laughs openly and feels even better when Louis’ eyes light up. “You’re right, that would be awful.” Even though Harry knew he was going to be late, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and talk to Louis all day. He wanted to know what he liked to do in his free time. He wanted to know his favorite color and food. He just wanted to spend his day looking at him. 

Louis shuffles awkwardly, shoving his hands deep in his pockets when he notices Harry staring at him.

“Sorry.” Harry says quietly. 

“It’s alright.” Louis responds, a grin forming on his soft lips, his voice soft and sweet. 

“Um..” Harry says, but closes his mouth quickly. He wanted to ask Louis for his number. He really really did. But instead he just says a quick bye and continues down the street. He hears Louis say a quick see ya, before Harry disappears into the crowd of people.

Harry was late to his job interview. He was now jobless and Louisless, he wasn’t sure which one he was more upset about.

 

**Present:**

“Here you go, love. Cuppa Earl Gray, hot. Eggs over easy, and a blueberry muffin, just for my muffin.” Harry says cheekily, placing the plate of food in front of Louis. He smiles and grabs onto Harry waist, pulling him in. He kisses along his hip bones and Harry openly gasps. 

“Louis!” He giggles, grabbing into Louis’ hair and rubbing his scalp. He’s been half hard all morning.

“I love you baby.” Louis mumbles pinching Harry’s love handles. 

“I love you more.” Harry says back, still grinning from ear to ear. He loves it when Louis tells him he loves him, even though he says it 50 times a day, it never gets old. Nothing with Louis ever gets old. 

Louis smiles. satisfied and breaks into his muffin. Harry sits across from him. He leans on his hand and watches as Louis takes a dainty sip of his tea. Harry always loves watching the way Louis eats. He was so small and delicate and Harry loves the way he held his fork and the way his lips curved over a glass of whatever he was drinking. He loves watching Louis do anything. 

Louis rolls his eyes when he sees Harry watching him. “Love, aren’t you gonna eat?” He asks. 

“Maybe later, I go into work late so I’ll probably grab a bite then.” 

Louis frowns, “You’re going in late?” 

Harry nods, knowing what was coming next. 

“That means you’ll be home later then as well.” 

Harry worked weird hours. He has a shitty job working at hotel and sometimes he doesn’t get home until midnight. Louis hated it. When Harry goes in early he gets home by six sharp, however on days like this, it will be later than ten. 

“Yeah, Lou.” 

Louis sighs, “I don’t know why you don’t just quit,” He sets his fork down. “You’re smart, Haz, you’ve got a degree.”

Harry shakes his head, “You know it’s not that simple Louis, I’ve been looking, there’s nothing out there.” 

“Still,” Louis says shaking his head, “There’s no reason for you to still be at that shitty motel, cleaning up after rich assholes that don’t know how good they’ve got it.” 

“Well sorry that not everyone can have an awesome paying job like Louis Tomlinson,” Harry scoffs. 

Louis sighs and stops eating, he looks up at Harry, his eyes unreadable, “That’s not what I meant, Harry.” 

“Yeah, well that’s how it sounded.” Harry responds, pushing himself up from the table.

“Seriously, you’re pissed at me?” Louis asks in a disbelieving tone, his eyes growing wide.

Harry ignores him and grabs water out of the fridge.

“Oh, great, yeah, real mature.” Louis scoffs and lets out a sarcastic laugh. Harry pushes his way past him and gets in the shower. When he gets out and goes into the bedroom Louis is standing in the mirror rolling his shirtsleeves. Harry doesn’t look at him as he walks over to their dresser and grabs an old t-shirt. He hates fighting with Louis, but he didn’t want to apologize. He shouldn’t have to. They have been fighting a lot lately over the stupidest things, Harry bought strawberry yogurt instead of blueberry. Louis kept taking all of Harry’s clean socks. Stupid arguments, that shouldn’t piss them off, but they did. 

Harry feels Louis’ eyes on him as he dries his hair off with his towel. He feels Louis walk over and nuzzles into his neck.

“Babe.” He says softly and kisses along his jaw. Harry closes his eyes.

“Not now, Lou.” Harry says, pushing away from him. Louis frowns as Harry slips his shirt over his head. He didn’t want to sound like an ass, but Louis always did this. Argue with him, and then act like nothing happened. It might sound like he is getting angry over nothing, but the little things slowly build up and he doesn’t want to deal with it right now. He looks over at Louis who has walked back over to the mirror. He runs a hand along his quiff and grabs his bag. 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” 

Harry nods and Louis leaves without another word. 

Later that night around 11:15 p.m. he gets a text from Louis that says:

'I just wanted to say that I’m sorry and that even though you’re mad at me I don’t want to go to sleep angry.'

Harry comes home later that night, and crawls into bed with Louis. He snuggles deep in his chest and nuzzles his head under Louis chin. 

“I love you.” Harry whispers into the darkness. He feels Louis bring a hand up his shirt as he lightly starts scratching his back. 

“I love you more.” He whispers as he plants a soft kiss on the top of Harry’s head. 

 

**Past:**

Harry was going crazy. Yes, it could have been from the loud, thumping base what was currently taking up every thought he was trying to produce. He really didn’t need the words to Nikki Minaj’s Feelin Myself to be clouding his right judgment in this moment. It also could have been the three shots his best friend Niall just forced him to take. But no, it was definitely seeing Louis in the crowded bar dancing with some bloke in a cheap knock off leather jacket. Three days. It had been three days since Harry had pussied out and didn’t ask for his number. Three days of rambling on to Niall who rolled his eyes and continued watching golf. Three days of going back to the coffee house in hope of spotting him again, so that he wouldn’t fuck up this time and actually ask him for his number. Three days of hoping to see him again. Harry expected to see him in a book store, at a museum. He did not expect to see him grinding up again some guy who was sweating like he had just run a triathlon. So yeah, he was going crazy.

Niall stood next to him at the bar chatting it up with this blonde guy who thought he had a chance. Niall was straight but he always went out with Harry to gay clubs.

“Hey that’s what best friends are for.” He had said the first time Harry had asked him. Niall actually ended up enjoying himself.

“It’s about time I get some recognition.” He said drunk throwing his arm around Harry. He had gotten four numbers that night. Sure, he gave them all to Harry, but damn he would have made a great twink, until he met a girl named Amanda. She was nice, Harry had liked her. He has to say had because they broke up two weeks later. Harry insisted they go to a regular bar next time, but Niall refused. He liked the gay bars. 

“Niall.” Harry says grabbing his blonde Irish friend, yanking him around and away from the tall man, who frowned. Harry ignores him.

“Yeah, Haz?” He asks, taking a sip of his beer he just ordered. 

“Louis is here.” Harry says, biting his lip.

Niall’s eyes light up, “Seriously?” 

Harry nods, his eyes straining the crowd once again.

“Well, go talk to him.” Niall says giving him a small eye roll as he starts to push Harry towards the dance floor.

“I can’t.” Harry frowns.

“And why’s that?”

“He’s here with someone.”

Niall sighs, “Harry, you like him, yeah?” 

Harry nods quickly his hair flopping into his eyes.

“Then go, what the hell do you have to lose?” 

Harry debates this for a moment. Maybe this is fate. He knew Louis was gay from the time they met, but he didn’t think he would have the chance to see him again. Harry always was a hopeless romantic. This could be his only shot. 

“Do you think this is what the universe wants?” Harry asks Niall a moment later.

“What? Harry, you’re drunk.” Niall laughs. 

Harry takes a deep breath.

“Where is he?” Niall asks.

Harry points to the middle of the crowded bar. Bodies pushed together, the smell of alcohol and sweat. 

“Ohhh,” Niall nods. “He’s cute, I like his jacket.”

“No, you idiot, he’s the small one.” Harry scoffs.

“I know, shit head, now go!” With one last shove Harry is taken in by the wave of people. He’s not drunk enough for this. He wishes he could have taken another shot before coming in here. He maneuvers past the bodies of people. A couple guys grab at him, but he doesn’t stop until he’s standing in front of Louis. He’s dancing in a relaxed motion, swinging his hips to meet the guy he was grinding on. Leather jacket man has his hand gripping Louis’ waist and they’re swaying to the music. He walks over and without thinking, taps on Louis shoulder. He doesn’t open his eyes at first so he does it again, harder this time. Louis swings around and finally opens his eyes. They meet Harry’s and he immediately pushes off the man, who scoffs and grabs the boy next to him.

“Hi, Harry.” He says, his eyes changing to something of actual happiness.

“You remembered my name?” Harry asks in a disbelieving tone. 

Louis blushes and runs his hand along his arm. He’s hard, and Harry has a hard time keeping his eyes focused on his face.

“Of course I remembered…” He says softly, Harry can barely hear him over the pounding of music. “You remember mine, don’t you?” He asks a moment later, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course I do, Louis.” Harry says. Louis’ eyes light up and he smiles. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“I’m here with my friend, Niall.” Harry points to the loud lad who is taking shots with the same lad he was talking to before. It’s funny. Niall thinks of the men hitting on him as mates, just people to have a good time with. He has no idea how bad they want to get in his pants. 

Louis frowns a little, taking a long look at him.

“Hey,” Harry grabs his arm, “Friend.” He repeats and Louis’ frown is replaced with a small grin. Louis’ eyes travel slowly to Harry’s hand. He pulls away from Louis and sets his arm down at his side. 

“Would you like to dance?” Harry asks. Louis nods and grabs his wrist, leading him to the dance floor. They start off somewhat awkward at first, knowing their space. Soon though after three songs, the music starts to take them. Louis puts his back to Harry and starts to grind his bum into Harry’s crotch. The friction of Louis, plus the tightness of his briefs has him going hard but he doesn’t care. He grips onto Louis’ waist and grinds back into him. He’s having fun and he never wants this to end. Louis leans back and Harry gets a whiff of his hair. It doesn’t smell gross, quite the opposite actually, like jasmine and sandalwood. They keep dancing and grinding and sweating, Harry starts to feel dizzy. When the next song ends he leans into Louis’ ear.

“I’m going to take a break.” 

Louis turns around and his jeans are fully tented now. Harry knows his are the same. He is absolutely sure when he sees Louis’ eyes slide down, then back up his body.

“Okay.” He nods. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Harry asks.

“I would love that.” 

Harry asks Louis what his favorite drink was and he responds with Jack Daniels on the rocks. Together they drink and he introduces Louis to Niall who is plastered and swaying. 

“You alright, mate?” Harry asks his bubbly friend, who leans his head on his shoulder.

“I want to head out Harry.” He slurs, closing his eyes. Harry bites his lip. Harry was basically sober. 

“Okay, Niall.” 

Harry turns to Louis and smiles softly when he sees his blue eyes getting heavy.

“Me and Niall are heading out, do you need a ride home?”

Louis shakes his head. “I’m good, mate, thank you though.” Harry notices a small frown upon his lips, but Harry was not going to apologize for leaving. Sure, he wanted to stay and feel Louis’ perfect arse against his dick all night, but it was nearing 2 am and he wasn’t going to send Niall home in a taxi. He was his ride. 

“Can I have your number?” Harry says a moment later, and the grin is right back on Louis’ face. He grabs a napkin and pulls out a sharpie from his pocket.

Harry giggles, “Why do you have a sharpie?” He asks.

Louis lets out a small laugh, “You always have to be prepared, Harry.” 

Harry feels a burst of jealously swell deep inside him, “You give out your number a lot?” Harry asks. 

“No, but I kept hoping I’d run into you again, and I wanted to be prepared.” He blushes.

“Either that is true, or you just had a really nice save, which one it is, I’m not sure.” Harry laughs.

“It’s true,” Louis says, not a hint of a smile on his face at all. Harry grows serious as well.

Louis hands him the napkin and puts the cap back on his sharpie. 

“I really hope I hear from you.” He says. 

“How soon is too soon?” Harry jokes, somewhat serious.

“Not soon enough.” Louis smiles softly. 

“Bye, Louis.” Harry says, slinging one of Niall’s arms around his shoulders. 

“Bye, Harry.” Louis says, as he watches Harry carry Niall off with an amused smirk. Harry got home that night and put Louis’ name into his phone with three heart emojis. Not soon enough. Harry sighs and presses the call button, but immediately regrets it, he’s about to hang up when Louis answers.

“Hello?” He asks, his voice is raspy. 

“Louis, are you still at the club?” Harry asks. He can’t help it. He hates to think that Louis is now letting another guy touch him. Making him feel good. 

“No, I just got home.” He says and Harry believes him. 

“Okay.” Harry says. The line is quiet for a while, the only sound is them softly breathing.

“Talk to me.” Louis says a moment later.

Harry giggles, “What do you want me to say?” He asks, flopping onto his bed and facing the ceiling. 

“Anything…” Louis says, his voice soft. “I just like the sound of your voice.” 

 

 **Tuesday:**

Harry wakes up again, Louis' arm wrapped tightly around Harry’s shoulders. He smiles accepting the warmth and closeness of their bodies. Guilt bubbles at the bottom of his stomach. He wiggles slightly, suddenly warm, and tries to stick a leg out from under the blankets. Louis notices him stirring because he lets out a wihne and squeezes tighter. 

“Where do you think your going?” He mumbles, eyes still closed. Harry smiles.

“I’m hot, Lou.” He mumbles back wiggling again, this time just to annoy Louis.

“Yeah, you are.” Louis smiles, finally opening his eyes. He leans down and plants a slow kiss on Harry’s mouth, nibbling lightly at his bottom lip. He lets go some and Harry kicks the covers off them. 

“Better?” Louis asks, running his hand through Harry’s curls.

“Much.” They lay in silence, just letting the morning glow sweep through the curtains. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Lou.” Harry says a moment later, running his long fingers across Louis’ thumb. 

“I know, baby, me too.” 

Harry snuggles in closer and pulls Louis into him, his shirtless chest up against Harry’s cheek was warm. 

“But I mean what I said, love, you’re so much better than that.” He kisses Harry’s head.

“I know.” Harry whispers back.

“You look so beautiful right now.” Louis whispers, “The morning light is hitting you perfectly.” 

Harry smiles. “It’s just you, Lou.” He mumbles.

“What do you mean, babe?” He says softly into Harry’s curls. 

“You’re the light.” Harry says.

Louis lets out a loud laugh, “You’re a dork.” 

Harry turns to Louis and pouts, “Am not.” He says childishly. 

Louis grabs onto one of his dimples, “Yes, you are, but your my dork and I love you.” He gives Harry a quick peck on the mouth and Harry frowns because it wasn’t longer.

He leans in again, but Louis leans away. “Lou!” He says.

“I like it when you pout.” He smiles, “Its adorable.” 

Harry pouts again just to tease Louis. “I like it when you tell me you love me.” Harry says. 

Louis smiles, and pulls him closer, “I love you.” Peck, “I love you.” Peck, “I fucking,” Peck, “Love you.” Kiss. Long and slow and beautiful. Time stops when Harry feels Louis slowly slide his tongue deep in his mouth. Familiar taste. 

Harry pulls away to breathe and slowly moves his mouth down Louis’ neck, sucking and biting lightly at his skin. Louis lets out a high pitches moan as Harry slides his warm hand over Louis half hard cock. He gives it a squeeze and Louis whines, and grabs onto Harry’s neck, pulling him closer.

“I have to get to work, Harry.” He whispers brokenly as Harry continues rubbing him through the fabric, getting himself off with the sound of his voice. 

“Babe, please.” Harry pouts and Louis moans again. 

“Fuck, Harry how can I say no to you?” He mumbles.

“Just let me blow you, then you can leave.” Harry says happily pushing Louis to lay back against the bed.

“What about you.” He asks, gripping the sheets as Harry runs a hand along his inner thighs. 

“I’ll just wait for you to come home.” Harry mumbles, pressing a kiss along his hip bones that turned him on so fucking much. 

“All day? You have work.” Louis throws his head back when Harry bites a hard bruise into his flesh.

“I’ll wait, you can reward me later.” Harry grips Louis’ hips and pushes open his thighs, his boxers already getting wet. 

“I’ll be such a good boy for you Lou, just think of me today, hard and leaking, ready for you when you get back.” Harry slides down his own boxers and slips them off. He throws them off the bed and runs a hand across his own hips.

“Look at me, Lou.” Harry whispers, as he runs his long fingers over his own bum. Louis looks at him and his eyes turn dark, as they hungrily search over Harry’s body.

“Can you wait for me, baby?” 

“Fuck, Harry.” Louis moans grabbing onto the sheets, his knuckles turning white. Harry grabs the elastic of Louis briefs and slides them slightly down, just showing the head of his leaking erection. He kisses it softly, keeping his eyes on Louis. He knew exactly how this would work out. Louis would come in about 5 minutes, just from Harry getting him off with his words. He’s realized now that Louis gets off just from Harry’s appearance. He likes what Harry says, and he likes when he acts like a good boy. The first time they had sex, Harry was really surprised to see just how much Louis enjoyed dirty talk, even getting each other off on the phone a couple of times. It was strange and new and exciting, exploring each other’s bodies, getting to know the touch and the feeling. Now, though Harry could find Louis’ body in the dark. He knew every curve, every place that drove him crazy, how to get him off, and turn him on. He knew Louis’ body as well as his own. 

Louis entwines his fingers through Harry’s curls and gives them a tug, throwing his head back in pleasure. Harry pulls his briefs all the way off and throws them on the flow next to his own. He cups Louis’ balls softly and licks along his shaft. 

“Look at me.” Harry tells him, and he does. Louis’ eyes are in a daze of lust and pleasure. Harry feels his own hard cock throbbing hard against the mattress and he doesn’t know if he’s going to able to make it all day. He grinds his hips softly trying to give himself some relief. He takes Louis all the way into his mouth and he hits his throat slightly, but he doesn’t gag. After 2 years, he got used to it. When they first started dating Harry would practice on banana’s just to please him. He lets him go with a pop but puts him right back in a second later. 

“I love you lips.” Louis mumbles, his blue eyes still locked in green. Harry grabs his shaft with his hand and slowly starts to jerk him off, licking his tip lightly. He works his wrist just like Louis’ likes and he starts rutting his hips into the air. Harry grabs his waist and holds him down.

“Stay still for me, baby.” Harry instructs. He whimpers softly, then lets out a loud fuck as Harry takes him in again. 

“I’m close.” Louis whispers, tugging at his curls and curling his toes. 

“Come for me.” 

“Oh god.” He moans again and seconds later he is coming down Harry’s throat, giving off broken whimpers and I love you’s as he does. When he’s finished he gives Harry a slow kiss and they snuggle for a moment. 

“I love the way you taste.” Harry whispers. 

“You sure you don’t want me to help you out?” Louis asks, pushing Harry’s curls away from his forehead. 

“I’m sure, Lou.” Harry smiles.

“Okay, baby.” Louis kisses him again and stands. “I’m going to shower.” 

Louis walks away and Harry stands. He ignores his hard cock and pulls his briefs back on. He’s going a little softer now. He picks out Louis' work clothes for the day and sets them neatly in the chair beside him. He walks into the kitchen and brews a pot of tea. 

Harry has work in less than an hour as well and he still has to shower. Not wanting to be late he slips into the bathroom and hears Louis singing. He hums along the song and slides in next to him, Harry laughs when he sees Louis’ head full of shampoo.

“Here babe, let me wash you.” Harry says as he grabs the body wash off the shelf. Louis' eyes are closed and he is rinsing his hair. He smells of jasmine and sandalwood, a scent that Harry is used to. A scent that is his. 

When they finish their shower they both get dressed and say their goodbyes. 

“Let’s get dinner tonight, yeah?” Louis asks as they stand in the doorway, about to go their separate ways. 

“Lou, it’s Tuesday.” Harry smiles fondly.

“I know, but..” Louis shrugs, “Who cares?” 

Harry laughs and bites his lip. “Okay, dinner.” 

Louis smiles and gives him another kiss. “Maybe Tuesday dinners will be a new tradition.” 

Harry smirks, “Maybe they will.”

 

**Past:**

“Hi.” Harry says brightly as he answers his phone. As soon as the name Louis popped up he couldn’t stop smiling like a boy with a middle school crush. 

“Hi.” Louis breaths back. Harry realized now just how much he loved the sound of Louis’ voice over the phone. They had been talking for about a month now and went on two dates. Nowhere big, just the movies twice with Niall and whatever girl he was seeing at the time. But Louis bought him candy and held his hand through the whole film.

“Are you busy right now?” He asks.

Harry looks around at the dirty hotel room he was supposed to be cleaning. Since he didn’t make it to the office interview, he scored a job here. Hey, it wasn’t the best, but it would always be worse. It’s only his second day as well, so it wasn’t like he was crazy busy. Plus they probably wouldn’t even notices he’s gone.

“No.” Harry says throwing a dirty towel that he had just picked up off the floor into one of the carts he was forced to push around.

“Are you sure? I would hate to take you away from your responsibilities.” 

Harry scoffs, but laughs. “Louis please.” 

“Alright then, meet at our place.” 

“Our place” Harry asks confused.

“Yeah, the coffee shop where we first met. I’m declaring it our place.” 

Harry smiles as butterflies erupt in his stomach. “I’ll be there in ten.” 

They hand up and Harry grabs his coat out of his locker. He finds his manager sitting outside the smoking lounge having a cigarette. 

“I’m going on my break.” He says sliding his jacket on. 

“You have thirty minutes, we have a shit load of shit to do.” 

Harry nods and leaves. Who knew someone could use the word shit that many times in one sentence. He leaves the hotel and grabs a taxi, it was too cold to walk anymore. When he arrives he looks in the window and spots Louis sitting in a booth in the corner. His dainty hands wrapped around a mug,. 

“Hi.” Harry says when he walks in, butterflies from seeing Louis erupting in his stomach.

“Hello, love.” Louis grins, his cheeks pink and hair ruffled from the wind.

Harry sits down and slides off his jacket.

“I wasn’t sure how you took your tea, so I just ordered you the same as me.” Louis says nodding to the steaming cup that sat in front of Harry.

“Which is?” Harry asks, raising the cup to his lips and blowing lightly. Louis is watching him almost intently. 

“Earl grey, milk, two sugars.” He says.

“Perfect.” Harry smiles and takes a sip. 

“So, where do you work?” Louis asks, taking a drink of his own. 

“I work at a hotel.” He says.

Louis nods, “Fun, fun.” 

Harry shakes his head, “Not really, it’s mostly rich middle aged men trying to get away from their wives.” 

Louis chuckles, “So it’s that kind of hotel.” 

Harry laughs. “I guess.” 

Louis bites his lip. 

“What?” Harry asks. 

“Nothing, it’s just. I hope you’re not helping those middle aged men out.” He says softly. 

Harry freezes and bites his lip. “Of course not.” Harry mumbles softly. 

“Good, because that would make me really jealous.” Louis says slyly. 

“Louis.” Harry says, and he really wishes that they could have stalled this conversation because now Harry is growing hard. 

“I’m just playing with you.” Louis responds, now smirking, knowing exactly what he’s done. 

“Tell me something else.” He adds a moment later.

“Uh..” Harry blushes. “I don’t know.” 

Louis smiles softly. “Do you have any siblings” He asks. 

“I have a sister, her name is Gemma, and I have a mum and stepdad.” 

Louis nods, propping his chin up with his hands, his eyes searching Harry’s as if they’re looking for something.

“Go on,” He says softly.

“I like cats.” Harry mumbles, as Louis laughs. 

“Me too.” He says, and Harry gets a flash of them owning a cat in the future. 

“I’m terrible at football, but I fancy it a lot.” Harry says next and Louis’ eyes light up.

“I love me some football!” He says.

“Maybe you can teach me sometime.” Harry says slyly. 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

“What about you?” Harry asks. 

“Me?” Louis asks

“You’re the only you I see.” Harry grins.

“Harold, what the hell did you just say?” Louis jokes, and Harry notices his eyes crinkle when he smiles. 

“Shut up.” Harry pouts. Louis blushes and looks up at Harry through his long eyelashes.

“What?” Harry asks a moment later.

“You’re cute when you pout, that’s all.” Louis says softly, bringing his tea back to his lips. 

“Enough.” Harry says, “Tell me about you.”

“Well, I have a roommate named Liam, and he’s like a brother to me, I grew up in Doncaster, but I moved to London five years ago after uni.”

Harry nods, holding onto everyone word Louis said. He wanted to know more and more. 

They spend the rest of the day talking about everything and nothing. Just getting to know each other in different ways. Harry doesn’t even realize his break ended half an hour ago.

“Shit.” Harry mumbles, causing Louis to stop mid sentence. He was talking about how one time he threw up really bad during a football game. Not the cleanest story, but Harry listened happily anyway. 

“Everything alright?” Louis asks. 

“No, I was supposed to be at work a long time ago.” Harry mutters, silently cursing himself. 

“I can give you a ride, if you’d like.” Louis says.

Harry breathes in relief. “Yes, thank you.” Having Louis take Harry back to work saved him an extra 20 minutes trying to hail a cab.

“No problem, come on.” 

They get into Louis’ nice car and the ride there is in comfortable silence, the radio playing softly. When they pull up to the shitty hotel Harry idles by the door handle, his hand resting on it softly. 

“Thanks again.” He says, this time actually putting pressure on the handle to open the door.

“Wait.” Louis says, grabbing his arm. Harry turns and looks at him, his heart racing as his judgment gets clouded by the rays of blue shooting daggers in his chest. He swallows hard as Louis leans foreword. His breath hitting Harry lightly, as he tries to steady his breathing.

“Yeah?” He asks, their faces so close he can see every color in Louis’ eyes, shading from light to dark blue, storming into a sea of green.

Louis pauses, his eyes traveling down Harry’s face. “Don’t forget your jacket.” He says finally, handing it to Harry.

Harry swallows and pulls away, a blush forming on his cheeks from the though of Louis’ lips.

“Thanks.” He says grabbing it and getting out of the car.

“Harry.” Louis says softly before Harry closes the door.

Harry turns around, still hearing his heartbeat in his ears, “Yeah, Louis?” He asks. 

“Lets do this again sometime, yeah?” He asks, his eyes shining just enough for make Harry’s knees go weak.

“Yes, please.” Harry nods, and with one last smile and a blur of blue, Louis is pulling away from the curb and disappearing down the street. And just like that Harry is pulled out of whatever day dream he’s been walking around in and pulled back into reality. A reality of clogged toilets and unmade beds. Somehow though, it didn’t seem so bad. Not even when his boss was screaming at him, or when he had to scrub a cum stain off one of the pillow cases. All he could think about was seeing Louis again and hearing his voice. 

 

**Present:**

When Harry walks through the door he immediately spots Louis lying on the couch in nothing but a pair of briefs. 

“Hello, love.” Harry smirks walking over to him. Louis smiles slyly at him, and repositions himself on the couch so his legs were spread open. Harry walks over and stands in between them. Louis looks up at him and bates his eyes. Harry slowly slides his shirt off, his eyes still staying focused on Louis’ as his become clouded. Louis reaches a hand up and slowly slides it down Harry’s smooth chest, sliding his hand softly over his nipples, as they grew hard under his touch. Harry lets out a shudder as goose bumps erupt on his skin.

“So responsive,” Louis mumbles, a soft grin forming on his lips. “Always have been.” He grabs Harry’s bum and slides him closer, as he starts kissing lightly on his tummy. Harry moans again, his dick twitching hard in his pants. Louis brings a dainty hand and undoes his button, letting his trousers fall to his ankles. Harry’s black briefs were tented. Louis leans down and plants a soft kiss on his cock, and Harry gasps openly lacing his fingers through Louis’ hair. Every time Louis touched him felt just like the first, but now its familiar hands, and touch. His hands are home. Harry lets the feeling of pleasure shoot throughout his entire body. He throws his head back as Louis’ mouth gets to work harder and dirtier, his nails digging into Harry's hips as he takes him into his mouth. Harry lets his mouth fall open as his knees start to shake. 

Louis pops off for a moment. “I feel so bad for making you wait all day for this baby.” 

Harry just moans his response as Louis tongue slides slowly down his shaft, as he licks the sides. He went soft an hour after Louis left for work, but if Louis would have left him hard two years ago, he would have stayed like that for hours at a time. He was so horny and hungry back then when they first started dating. Like a 14 year old whose just found out he’s got a dick for the first time. 

“Can you just fuck me?” Harry asks, his knees are practically trembling and he needs Louis right now. 

“No,” Louis mumbles against Harry’s thighs. 

“Lou—“ Harry says breathlessly as Louis gives Harry’s head a kiss. He whimpers softly. Louis stands up and presses their bodies together, their hard cocks pressing into each other. Louis’ through the hard fabric of his briefs.

“I’m not going to fuck you babe,” Louis leans in and kisses along Harry’s neck. “I’m going to make love to you.” 

Harry shudders as he slides his hand down the back of Louis pants grabbing at his ass, smiling as the curve of his body molds perfectly into his own. Louis leads him to the bedroom and lays him down softly, taking his time. There was not hunger or bloodthirsty cravings that took over them years ago. They knew exactly what each other wanted and knew exactly how to please each other. After Louis undresses them both he gets to work. Harry grips his shoulders as he moves lower down his chest marking him up with love bites, and leaving a trail of saliva down Harry’s belly. Harry’s stomach clenches as Louis licks into his thighs spreading him open. The familiar feeling of pleasure courses through Harry as he feels Louis’ rough beard scruff tickle the insides of his thighs. He bit his lip and let out a moan as Louis licked softly down his shaft.

“Baby.” Louis coos, pushing down on Harry’s hips to get him to stop rutting them into the air. “Be good for me yeah, patience is a virtue.” He mumbles happily still licking and sucking at Harry’s hard leaking dick.

“It’s so hard, Lou…” Harry mumbles grabbing into Louis’ hair and yanking it when his mouth takes in all of Harry. “Finger me.” Harry says a moment later and Louis pops off his dick with a satisfying pop. 

Louis takes him and softly turns Harry around so he is lying on his stomach.

“Look so good spread open for me.” Louis whispers leaning over him and to their bed side table to grab lube. “So eager, yeah.” 

Harry moans as a shiver runs down his spine. Louis sits down in between Harry’s legs and he hears a bottle opening. Moments later he feels Louis’ long slim finger slip inside of him. He whines and pushes back onto Louis’ hand. He feels Louis’ knuckle hit the outside of his rim and his finger hit his prostate. “Fuck, Lou.” Harry moans. 

“Shh.” Louis says as he pulls his finger out. He turns Harry around as he pouts, he already misses the feeling of Louis. 

“Louuuu.” Harry moans grinding down onto the mattress. 

“Can I fuck you tonight Harry?” Louis asks softly, planting kisses down his arms.

“You sure, Lou. You don’t wanna switch?” 

Louis shakes his head as he runs his teeth along Harry’s jaw. Harry lets out a moan as his eyes roll back slightly. 

“No, I want to make you feel good.” Louis mumbles his voice barely audible for Harry is now running his finger along the outside of Louis’ hole, causing his body to shudder. 

“I want you to look at me the whole time.” Louis mumbles, “I wanna see your pretty face when your coming.” He grabs Harry’s jaw lightly in his hands, and Harry moans loudly, loving it when Louis gets dominant. “I wanna see that pretty mouth open when you reach your peak, and your eyes glossy.” Louis lubes up his cock, and places it right outside of Harry. They didn't use condoms anymore because when they first started dating they got checked and they haven’t been with anyone else.

“Love how flushed you’re cheeks are babe.” Louis mumbles as he slightly pushes through Harry’s walls. Harry moans as he feels Louis pushing him open. A feeling he has come to love. Louis keeps knocking into him, his eyes never leaving Harry’s. The only sound for a while is their moans filling the room like music. Their bed frame hits the wall but they ignore it. Louis is quiet except for the angry grunts he was leaving in the air. Harry knows that something must be bothering Louis, if he’s being this rough. Harry wasn’t complaining he liked it hard, sometimes, its just before they do go at it hard, Louis always asks and makes sure if Harry is okay. Usually he is soft and gentle and pretty. He even said they weren’t fucking today, he said they were going to make love. This sure feels like fucking, but he’s not complaining. Instead he focuses on how he feels right now. The way Louis feels inside of him. His love. He soon feels the sweat forming and running down the side of his face. He’s close. 

“I’m gonna come, Louis.” Harry moans, feeling Louis hit his prostate with every thrust.

‘Me too, babe.” Louis moans, grabbing onto the bed frame behind them and knocking into Harry even harder. Harry moans as he feels his walls clench.

“Come for me.” Louis says, noticing the change in Harry’s eyes. A moment later Harry releases all over him and Louis’ stomachs.

“I love you, baby.” Harry moans, coming down.

“Fuck Harry, you’re so beautiful.” Louis moans, then he’s coming as well, letting out a stream of fucks. When he’s finished he gets up and goes into the bathroom to grab Harry a towel.

He stops in the door way and Harry notices him staring. He doesn’t get self conscious, instead he rolls over and spreads his legs, grabbing some come that is now leaking from his hole. 

“Wish you could see yourself, fuck.” Louis mumbles walking over and gently cleaning Harry’s chest off. Louis’ bites his lip. When they are finished Louis walks over and scoops Harry up into his arms, cuddling him. 

“Are you okay?” Harry asks running a hand through Louis’ hair.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, while we were having sex, you just kinda seemed to zone out, like you were having a one night stand or something.” He says.

Louis’ eyes grow wide. “Did I hurt you?” He asks. 

“No, no of course not, love.” Harry says, grabbing his shoulder. “You just didn't seem to enjoy it, that’s all.” 

“I did enjoy it Harry.” Louis whispers. “I always do, god I love you so fucking much it hurts sometimes.” Louis mumbles. 

“I love you too.” Harry replies giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “But if something is wrong you’ll tell me.” 

Louis hesitates for a moment, his eyes shifting away from Harry’s but they’re back a second later, almost as if they didn't even leave at all. “Of course, babe.” Louis says and kisses him again. 

They then get ready for dinner, showering and putting on nice clothes. Harry feels kind of stupid, getting dressed nice on a Tuesday to have dinner. But he liked it in a way. Anything to do with Louis he liked. 

When they arrive at the restaurant Louis holds the door open and rests his hand on his lower back when they enter. It was not crowded for it was a Tuesday night. They are seated in a booth next to a nice water fountain. Light classical music plays softly through the speakers, and all Harry can think about is how gorgeous Louis looks, and how bad, in this moment, Harry wants to marry him. 

“You’re staring at me.” Louis smirks, not even looking up from his menu.

“So?” Harry says, smiling as he hides behind his menu. When he puts it down he sees Louis looking at him, his face serious.

“What?” Harry asks.

Louis takes a deep breath, “Nothing.” He shakes his head and looks back down at his menu. The waiter comes and Louis orders a glass of wine for them and they order some seafood entrée that they’ve never heard of, but the waiter swears its good, so they try it. Louis is oddly silent as they sip their wine. Usually he’s cracking jokes and making Harry laugh like an idiot. Today, however, he’s not.

“Okay what?” Harry says a moment later. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at him, “What?”

“Something is wrong, and you’re not telling me.” He replies, looking Louis dead in the eyes. 

Louis sighs and frowns, it almost breaks Harry’s heart. He reaches over and grabs Louis’ hand. 

“I’m just tired, Harry.” Louis says.

“You’re the one who wanted to come to dinner tonight.” Harry snaps, and immediately feels guilty.

Louis looks up at him, and Harry knows he’s made him mad when he pulls his hand out of Harry’s grip.

“I thought I would do something nice for us,” He scoffs, “My mistake.” 

“Louis, I didn’t mean it.” 

“You don’t mean a lot of things, do you Haz?” Louis rolls his eyes

“What does that mean?” Harry asks, as he starts to grow offended. 

“Meaning, you’ve been pissy with me all week, but then when I try to do something nice, you act like it’s my fault.”

“You’re the one whose been moping around since we got here.” Harry says, his voice rising some. “If you didn’t want to come, we didn’t have to come.” 

“I wanted to come for you.” 

“Well it was a waste, so congrats.”

Louis flinches as if he’s just been slapped. Harry frowns, but he doesn’t apologize. Instead they sit there in silence.

“I lost my job.” Louis mumbles, looking down.

What?” Harry asks, the words hitting him like a title wave. 

“They were letting people go,” Louis shrugs, “I didnt have a choice. My last day is this Friday.” 

“Oh my god.” Harry says, his hands starting to shake. “Oh my god Lou.” 

“Harry, please.” 

“Jesus Christ, Louis, were gonna loose everything. I’m gonna have to get another job, we were gonna get a cat, were gonna lose the apartment, were—“

“Would you shut the fuck up for five minutes, Harry.” 

Harry immediately stops, and looks at Louis. “Who the hell do you think you are.” Anger swells in him.

“Listen Harry I didn’t mean it, I just.” 

“But you said it.”

“You know what.” Louis says, pushing his chair back and standing. “I cant help that this happened and I sure as hell am not going to stand here and hear you tell me its my fault.” 

Harry scoffs and stands as well. “Fine, then I’ll go.” Harry says.

“What do you mean, go?” Louis asks. Just then the waiter appears with their food, looking between the men. 

“Meaning I’ll take a taxi back to the house.” He opens his wallet and puts down a couple bills. 

Louis scoffs. “Fine, go, I don’t want to be near you right now anyway.”

Harry shakes his head and pushes past the waiter towards the door. He hails a taxi quickly and gets in. He tells him the address and their off. Harry feels a tear slide down his cheek and angrily brushes it away. His heart physically hurt. When he gets home he pushes open the door and gets in the shower. He stays and lets the hot jets hit his body, trying to numb his emotions. They had been fighting a lot lately, way more than usual. Is this what falling out of love feels like? 

When he gets out of the shower he quickly throws on one of his old t-shirts and walks into the kitchen to make some tea. He stops when he spots Louis laying down a blanket and some pillows on the couch.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, walking over.

“I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.” 

Harry can’t help the scoff that escapes his throat and Louis shoots him a dirty look. 

“Louis can we not talk about this?” Harry asks. 

“No, we can’t.” Louis sighs and faces him, “And frankly at this moment I don’t really care what you have to say.” 

Harry just shakes his head sarcastically, “Why are you being like this?” 

Louis frowns and sits down. “I have nothing to say.” He shrugs, “It is what it is, Harry.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and grabs his tea, knowing Louis would get upset Harry didn’t make him any. 

“Well goodnight.” He says and he pauses, his back turned towards the hallway, waiting for Louis to say it back. He looks over his shoulder, but Louis is already straightening his covers, ignoring him. Harry scoffs and walks into their bedroom. 

He sits down and snuggles under the blankets. He was not used to this feeling at all. The bed felt big and empty without Louis. Harry finds himself crying again and he clutches the pillow. He fell asleep lonely and cold. 

 

**Past:**

The butterflies taking over the inside of Harry’s tummy would not cease. With every breath he took he felt their wings flutter even harder and harder, trying to fly their way up his throat. He clears his throat as he looks at himself in the mirror. 

Louis was coming over to his apartment for the first time and he wanted everything to be perfect. He had a bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen table and his couch was lined with blankets and colorful pillows. He has a couple of movies sitting on the coffee table, as well as snacks. Lots of snacks. Crackers to cheese to candy. He wanted this date night to go perfectly. Tonight was the night. It was the night Harry was going to ask Louis to be his boyfriend and he didn’t want to fuck things up. It would also be the night of their first kiss. They had been friends now for a while. Going to movies and lunch, very couply things, but they have yet to seal the deal, and by that Harry means kiss. He wanted their first kiss to be romantic. That’s why he’s burned a playlist filled with every song he had listened to in Louis’ car. It was in a pain in the ass to memorize every song, but he did it. He fucking did it. 

He looks at himself in the mirror one more time and frowns. He untucks his shirt and poses, putting a hand on his hip. No. This wasn’t working. He unbuttons one of the collars and ruffles his hair. No no no. He curses under his breath and takes the shirt off. He goes to his closet and grabs a black tee and throws it on. 

That’s better. 

He hears a knock on his door and he almost throws up. Keep it together Styles. He sighs once and leaves his bedroom. He arrives at his door and closes his eyes once before opening it. He opens his eyes and smiles, seeing exactly what he expected. Louis in a hoodie and a nice pair of jeans, hugging him perfectly everywhere. 

“Hello, curly.” He says, and Harry blushes at the nickname.

“Hi.” He breathes, wiping his sweaty hands on the back of his jeans. Yes, Harry has dated guys before. No he was not a virgin, and yes he was great at giving head, but this was different, because now he actually cared about this guy. He cared about his other boyfriends, sure, but he always ended up falling for guys who didn’t give a shit about him. He liked Louis. He genuinely liked him. 

“So, just uh, make yourself comfortable.” This was the first time they hung out in private, like in a room with just them and a bedroom. Harry swallows. He hasn’t even kissed this boy yet and he’s already thinking of much dirtier things. He cant help it. How is his mind not supposed to wander while Louis is wearing jeans that might as well have been painted on. 

“Thanks.” Louis smiles, walking into the kitchen, looking around. Then into the living room. He looks at Harry’s books lining the book shelf and his record collection. Harry watches silently as Louis inspects his pictures and his movies. A small smile forms on his lips.

“The Great Gatsby?” Louis raises an eyebrow, picking up the book that lay on Harry’s desk. “You’re a smart one,” Louis smiles, “But I already knew that.”

“Are you thirsty, Lou?” Harry asks, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing the wine. Louis grins and walks over, grabbing the bottle.

“Wow, you’re spoiling me, Haz.” 

Harry blushes a light pink and opens the bottle. He pours them each a glass and they go sit on the couch. Harry sits silently and watches as Louis sips his wine. Why the hell was he so nervous. 

“I thought we could, watch a movie…” He scratches his neck. “If you want.” 

“Yeah!” Louis smiles and gets up, ignoring the movies Harry layed out. 

“You got grease?” Louis asks. Rummaging around his stacks, as if he lived there. 

“Yeah, I got the sing along.” Harry says, then immediately blushes again for the fifth time tonight.

Instead of being laughed at he turns around and looks at Harry, his eyes shining.

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?” He smiles, his accent making it sound more like What the fook are you waitin for. 

Harry smiles and gets up to put the movie in. When he’s finished he sits back down on the couch. Louis walks over and settles next to him, cuddling close to Harry.

Louis sings along to the whole movie, and he actually has a good voice. Harry can’t help but laugh as Louis sings Summer Loving going low for the guys part, then high for the girls. 

“Sing with me, Harry.” He says, as he stands up and grabs the whole bottle of wine, swaying with it. During the first 10 minutes of the film he finished off his glass, and already more than half the bottle. Harry smiles as he stands. Louis grabs his wrists and wraps his arms around Harry’s neck. Louis stops singing and just sways with him, his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes glossy from being tipsy. His eyes travel across Harry’s face and then land directly on his lips. Louis bites his own lip and looks back up to meet Harry’s eyes. 

Harry swallows once, as Louis looks at him with a longing look. 

“I really want to kiss you.” He says, staring back at Harry’s lips again. Harry doesn’t answer, instead just closes his eyes. When Louis’ soft, warm lips hit his, a firework explodes deep within him as fire ignites in his chest. A new feeling so intimate and precious he wants to hold onto forever. Their lips keep tracing outlines of each other as Harry gets dizzy from the lack of oxygen to his brain. He pulls away, breathing slightly heavy.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” Louis mumbles.

“I think I want to kiss you forever.” Harry mumbles, pressing his lips lightly to Louis’ again. 

He smiles into their kiss, his teeth lightly hitting Harry’s lip. Louis grips Harry’s waist and pulls away.

“Lets make this thing official yeah.” Louis looks around Harry's flat and grabs his vase of roses off his desk and walks over to him.

“Harold Edward Styles,” He says grinning. “Would you be my boyfriend?” He asks. 

“Yes.” Harry giggles and takes the flowers from Louis’, setting them back down where they were. 

Louis walks over and kisses Harry again, putting his hand up his shirt, and on his back, his cold fingers causing a shiver to run down Harry’s spine.

“Let’s finish the movie, yeah?” Louis mumbles, his hot breath hitting Harry, smelling of sweet wine.

“Yeah.” 

They snuggle up together on the couch Louis’ back against Harry’s chest and he loves it. He leans down and sniffs Louis’ hair… (more than once). 

The movie is coming to an end and Harry is more than elated. He has no idea why he felt so awkward in the first place. He was extremely comfortable and this felt normal, right. Louis felt like home. 

It isn’t long before Louis starts wiggling around, causing his bum to grind right onto Harry’s dick. He gasps silently as he feels his erection start to grow. 

“Can’t get comfy, Haz.” Louis mumbles grinding his ass back again. Finally he pushes himself to the other end of the couch and tangles his feet with Harry’s. Tickling Harry’s calves every once in a while with his toes. When the movie ends, Harry makes Louis put a new one in, he doesn’t want to risk Louis seeing his full hard on that wouldn’t seem to go down. Louis puts in Titanic and falls asleep within the first hour. Harry finishes it, however, still hard as rock by the end of it, and decided to leave Louis where he is. Harry doesn’t have the effort to get up to go to sleep, so instead he grabs the pillow Louis hit him with earlier (don’t ask) off the floor and settles deep in the couch. He falls asleep within seconds, the feeling of Louis’ warm leg entangles with his. This was the beginning of something amazing. Harry could feel it.

 

**Wednesday:**

Harry jolts awake and feels around his bed frantically, looking for Louis’ hand, for Louis’ anything. He frowns when all of his memories from the night before come crashing back into him. The fight. Louis was pissed. He inhales and gets a whiff of whatever Louis was cooking in the kitchen. He hoists himself up off the mattress and stretches.  
They had an hour before Louis went off to work. Harry scoffs. They had until Friday to figure things out. All he needed to do was peacefully talk to Louis about it. But before that he needed to apologize. 

He stands, his long limbs still achy from a rough nights sleep. He scratches his head as he walks into the kitchen. He cant help but smile when he sees Louis in nothing but a pair of baby blue briefs. Harry notices Louis’ back muscles tense as soon as his foot taps against the kitchen floor. 

Harry doesn’t say anything, just walks up and rests his head in the crease of Louis’ neck and inhales. He wraps his hands around Louis’ waist and runs his thumbs along his hip bones.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, Louis’ hair tickling Harry’s nose. 

Louis sighs, “Why do we do this?” He asks, staying still. 

Harry kisses his neck lightly, feeling his pulse on his lips. 

“I don’t know.” He mumbles. Louis spins around and wraps his small hands into Harry’s curls.

“I hate fighting with you.” He says quietly his eyes skimming Harry’s face, as if he’s searching for something. 

“Me too.” Harry says frowning, knowing that they were moments away from making up… and probably making out.

“I’m sorry Harry.” Louis’ voice cracks and Harry pushes their bodies closer together, separating any room that floated between them.

“We’re gonna get through this. All couples go through this.” Harry mumbles, lightly brushing a finger across Louis’ cheekbone. 

“How can you be so sure?” Louis says, his voice in a slight panic.

“Because… I just do. I’m here for you and we are going to get through whatever happens, together.” He mumbles, licking his lips.

“Never leave me again, okay?” Louis mumbles, wrapping his arms around Harry and resting his head on his chest.

“I missed you so much last night, I was so cold.” Harry breathes. Louis looks up at him, then focuses his eyes on Harry’s lips. 

“You’ll never sleep alone again.” He says, standing on his tippy toes and gives Harry a deep kiss that made them both loose oxygen. 

“I wanna fucking marry you.” Louis suddenly mumbles, breaking the kiss off. 

Harry’s eyes widen at the words Louis just spoke. “You do?”

“Fuck yes I do baby.” Louis bites his lip. “I didn’t want to ask you like this, I don’t even have a ring.” 

“Yes.” Harry breathes.

“Yes what?” Louis asks slowly, tentatively. 

“I’ll marry you.” 

Louis eyes grow wide, “I didn’t even ask proper.” 

Harry reaches around Louis and opens a cabinet drawer. He pulls out a black sharpie and hands it to Louis. Louis looks at him confusion, then recognition flashes across his face as he sees Harry lay out his left hand, wiggling his fingers. 

Louis smiles and draws a circle around Harry’s ring finger.

“Until you get the real thing.” Harry grins, admiring the sharpie mark. 

“I love you.” Louis says then, grinning from ear to ear, admiring Harry’s finger. 

“I love you more.” 

Harry leans in again and kisses him harder, hungrier. His tongue grazes Louis’ lip and he moans slightly, grabbing onto Harry’s curls. Harry inhales and gets a whiff of something burning. He pulls away and looks down at the pan of bacon Louis’ was cooking.

“Shit.” He says. Louis pulls off him in confusion, his erection pointing through his boxers. 

“Fuck.” Louis says grabbing the pan and shoving it the sink, and turning on the water. Steam rises as the smoke subsides. Harry bursts out laughing.

“My little chef.” Harry mumbles fondly. 

“Suck my dick.” Louis scoffs playfully. 

“Gladly.” Harry says leaning him again the counter.

“Jesus, Christ, Harry.” Louis moans. Harry smiles as he slides Louis’ underwear down his toned thighs, he glances at the sharpie mark on his ring finger as he does so and smiles. Mr. Harry Tomlinson. Yeah, he could get used to that. 

 

 **Past**

“I want to take you somewhere fun.” Louis says, laying his head in Harry’s lap. 

Harry smiles lazily as he runs his fingers through Louis’ soft brown hair. They were laying on Harry’s couch watching some cheesy 80s movie. It was a warm spring day and the windows were open, a light breeze ruffling the curtains. Harry knows he could spend every day for the rest of his life like this. Alone with Louis, not saying much, just enjoying each others company. It’s been three since they’ve made it official. Three weeks of Louis’ mouth and Louis’ tongue. Three weeks of quiet whispers off the apartment walls at midnight. Moans, and laughter. 

“Yeah?” Harry mumbles lazily, his eyes heavy, enjoying the feeling of Louis’ head in his lap.

“Yeah.” Louis whispers back, “I want to take you somewhere I can see you smile.” 

“You always see me smile, Lou.” Harry chuckles.

“Yeah, but I want to see one of your open mouth, loud cackles that makes everyone look at you like you’re crazy, like that time last week when I took you to that sushi restaurant and I told you to eat a live octopus,” Louis giggles, “A laugh like that.” 

Harry laughs at the memory. Louis had insisted on going to this new sushi place that was apparently to die for. Harry said yes, of course, without a single question. When they got there, Louis pointed out there was real live octopus you could eat. Harry had thought he was joking until he told the waiter and they brought out one. Harry didn't eat it. Instead he ended up giving it a name and petting it as it moved slowly around its bowl. Him and Louis had died of laughter that night. Wiping tears from their eyes and holding their stomachs. 

“We could go to our place?” Harry asks. Their place, also known as the cafe they first met at. They went there at least twice a week, the workers there knowing them by name.

“We always do that, Haz.” Louis moans, and Harry bites his lip. “I want to do something different.” 

“I’ve got it!” Louis says excitedly, sitting up and turning to face Harry. “Roller skating.” He says. 

Harry laughs out loud, as Louis frowns. 

“Whaaaat?” Louis asks. “I thought it was a great idea.”

“Lou… I don’t know if you know this, but I am the most uncoordinated person there is.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows “That gives me the chance to hold you close and protect you.” 

“And when I fall?” Harry smirks, leaning closer to him to get a whiff of his fabric softener. 

“Then we go down together.” Louis grins, pressing his lips lightly to Harry’s, as butterflies erupt in his tummy. The feelings of Louis’ lips now familiar and warm against his own. 

“Roller Skating.” Harry repeats against Louis' lips, and smiles. Louis pulls away and looks at him, a shy smirk sitting on his lips.

“You’ve never been, have you?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Harry feels the heat rush to his face and shakes his head slowly. Louis’ eyes light up and he jumps up like a young lad on Christmas morning. He reaches down and grabs Harry’s wrist pulling him to his feet. Harry smiles as he rubs his hands on the back of his jeans, getting nervous.

“Haz, it’s so fun, I swear.” Louis walks over to the door and looks for his vans that he always kicks off. He then smiles and walks over by the closet, knowing that that’s where Harry puts them every time they’re blocking the doorway. 

“Okay, fine.” Harry says standing up, “But let me change first, I don’t want to rip my new jeans.” 

Louis finishes putting on his vans and turns to face Harry, biting his lip. 

“I wouldn’t mind ripping your jeans.” He teases. Harry shakes his head and makes his way into his bedroom. Louis follows him in there and leans against the doorway. Harry smirks at him as he slides his jeans down his thighs, Louis’ eyes looking over his body hungrily. They haven’t done it yet… Not even a hand job, Harry was growing restless. 

“We could just skip roller skating..” Harry says, raising an eyebrow. Louis smirks and walks over to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

“Tempting.” He says, giving Harry a slow kiss on his jaw. Harry closes his eyes and slips his hand down the back on Louis’ pants, cupping his ass. 

“Harold.” Louis gasps playfully, grabbing his hand and moving it up to his lower back. “Hungry are we?” 

“Come on, baby.” Harry pouts, “I haven’t even gotten to see you, I want you so bad.” He leans in to kiss Louis, sucking on his bottom lip. “Please.” 

“What about… “ Louis takes a deep breath, gripping Harry’s upper arm. "Roller Skating?” 

“Soon.” Harry slides his hand up Louis shirt, slightly brushing his nipple causing Louis to shiver. “Baby.” 

“Fuck Harry.” Louis moans, pushing his body closer to Harry’s. 

“I don’t want to force you into anything, if you’re not ready.” Harry says then, pulling back slightly and brushing a piece of hair out of Louis’ eyes. 

“No I want to, god I want to, I just…” He trails off.

“What?” Harry asks, concern taking over him.

“I don’t want to mess up what we have, I don’t want sex to ruin this.” Louis’ cheeks turn pink as he bites his bottom lip.

“Nothing could ruin what we have, absolutely nothing.” Harry kisses him again as Louis pushes him backwards onto the bed and climbs on top of him. He hungrily bites kisses down Harry’s neck and slides his shirt off of his body. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Louis mumbles, lips brushing his nipples. Harry moans and grabs onto the blankets. His cock growing hard with the weight of Louis on top of him. Louis grinds his hips down on Harry and their breathing picks up. Louis kisses him and grinds his body down on Harry’s.

“You’re hard.” He mumbles against his lips. 

“I’m always hard around you.” Harry moans back, his boxers wet. Louis smiles and slides his own pants off. Harry feels the full outline of Louis’ dick against his thigh, it makes him throw his head back in bliss. 

Harry reaches into the back and squeezes Louis’ bum in his hands, causing Louis to moan. Harry kisses him again and grinds his hips up to meet Louis’. 

He reaches to grab Louis’ boxers to slide them down his waist when he feels Louis’ small hand grab his. “Can we just… Dry hump?” He asks, avoiding eye contact.

“Is that what you want?” Harry asks gently, not being able to stop the smile of fond growing on his lips. 

Louis nods and sits up on Harry’s lap, straddling him. He starts rocking his body back and forth, their cocks knocking together in one swift motion over and over.

“So good.” Harry breathes, gripping Louis’ waist. Louis picks up the pace and is breathing heavily. 

“Talk to me.” He breathes after a minute of rough grinding, the only sound in the room being their loud breathing. 

“You like it when I talk to you?” Harry teases.

“I love the sound of your voice.” Louis moans.

“Fuck Louis.” Harry moans, “I love that about you.” 

“How much?” 

Harry groans, opening his mouth. He cant believe Louis. How unbelievably hot he is. Louis then lays down and positions one of his legs outside of Harry’s thigh, and starts thrusting his dick against Harry’s leg. Harry moans openly and grinds back. 

“I love that so fucking much,” Harry has a hard time finding his breath, the feeling of pleasure almost being too much for him. He runs his nails down Louis’ back and bites his lip. He’s close. 

“Fucking love the way you feel, feels so good.” He adds, thrusting harder, his boxers falling and rising, the tip of his cock showing from underneath the fabric. 

“Harry.” Louis whines. 

“Yeah, baby.”

“I’m gonna…” He pauses and moans loudly, not finishing his sentence, but Harry knows. He knows by the way Louis is frantically rutting up against him he’s seconds from coming. 

“Come for me.” Harry moans, feeling his own orgasm growing closer. “Come on baby.” He moans into Louis hair as he reaches his climax himself. 

“Fuck.” Louis says, and a moment later he is shaking violently. Harry immediately releases his own load, grabbing onto Louis’ hair and whining his name. Louis pulls off of him a layer of cum sitting in between them. Their boxers wet and sticky. 

“Fuck.” He says again, throwing his arm over his face. 

Harry lets out a laugh. 

“What?” Louis asks a moment later, looking over at him.

“You like dirty talk.” Harry smiles. Louis blushes and bites his lip. 

“Yeah, so what?” He says.

“It’s hot.” Harry says, scooting closer to him, and nibbling his ear. 

“Shut up.” Louis laughs, hitting him lightly on his shoulder. 

“Come on.” Harry says, standing up and reaching his hand out to Louis. 

“What?” He asks. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

Louis smiles and takes Harry’s hand. He pulls them both up and leads them to the bathroom. 

“So roller skating….” Louis says a moment later, as Harry is running a wet wash cloth across his belly. 

Harry looks up at him and laughs, “Why the hell not.” He says. 

“Awesome!” Louis smiles and leans down to give him a kiss. “But I’m gonna need a pair of boxers.” 

Harry laughs and kisses Louis belly button, earning him a squeal. Harry feels like he’s drunk. Intoxicated on nothing but the sound and taste of Louis Tomlinson. 

 

 **Present:**

Harry is tucking in his shirt when his phone rings. Louis is already gone and has been for the last hour. Harry gives his sharpie covered finger a glance and answers his phone. 

“Hello?” He says, looking in the mirror to fix his hair, he didn’t recognize the number. 

“Are you Harry Styles.” A deep male voice asks, and Harry immediately feels his stomach knot up, something wasn’t right. 

“Uh, yeah, can I ask who’s calling please.” He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m sorry to inform you like this, but my name is Kevin Lohmann and I am calling from the London Bridge Hospital here in town,” The man clears his throat. “We have a lad in here named Louis Tomlinson, there’s been an accident, his family has been notified but we were told to contact you.” 

Harry immediately feels as if he is going to throw up. He stands and runs into the bathroom just in case. 

He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, go on.” He says. 

The man sighs, “There’s been an accident and—“ 

Harry doesn’t hear the rest for he is trying to keep from crumpling to the floor. All of the air in the room has been sucked out and he is having trouble breathing.

“I’m… I’m sorry can you repeat yourself please.” 

“Of course, sir… He is currently under emergency surgery, we can’t really give out anymore information, but if you would like to come down to the hospital, sadly no visitors at the moment, but I’m sure sooner or later you can—“ 

Harry misses the last part again for he is already rushing towards the door, no jacket, shoving on his shoe. He hangs up the phone and presses the elevator button frantically. He tries to swallow but his throat is closed tight, he wipes his sweaty pals on the back of his pants and wills himself not to start crying. 

Louis was in an accident, emergency surgery? Everything Harry had said to him comes rushing back. The last time Harry told him he loved him, the last kiss they shared, their last meal and embrace. The elevator door opens and he rushes in. He clicks lobby and bites his lip as the door closes shut. He looks down at the ring finger, and squeezes tightly to the sharpie ring drawn neatly around it. He’s going to marry Louis. Harry sucks in a deep breath and wipes away a tear that has slipped out, he’s going to marry him. 

The time between him flagging down a taxi to him rushing into the hospital was a blur. Just passing faces and strange looks as if Harry was an escaped convict. When he pushes open the door he is met with concerned nurses and faces. He runs over to the desk and the blond nurse looks at him with concern.

“Can I help you?” She asks.

“Louis Tomlinson?” He says frantically, bouncing his foot impatiently. 

The nurse’s eyes fall off Harry and onto her computer. She taps a few buttons and bites her lip.

“He’s in emergency surgery, no visitors, I’m sorry.” 

“I just need the room.” He says through clenched teeth. 

“Are you a relative?” She asks calmly.

“Well, not but—“

“Then I’m sorry sir, I cant let you past those doors, but if you take a seat in the waiting room and I will keep you updated—“ 

Harry ignores her and pushes through the doors, he makes his way down a small hallway that leads to a small room in the emergency area of the hospital. Harry peeks into the room and sees Louis’ mum and husband surrounded by all of her daughters, Harry is about to push himself when he feels a warm hand grab his arm. He spins around and is met with a gruff looking man wearing a security jacket. 

“I believe you were told to wait in the visitor area.” He says, voice deep and hitting Harry deep. 

“Get off.” He says, trying to wiggle out of the mans tight grip.

“You’re coming with me.” 

“Stop!” Harry cries, and the man tugs his away from the door handle, dragging him slightly. 

“Bloody hell, you bastard get the fuck off!” Harry says once more panic taking over him. He didn’t want to wait out there alone. 

“My fiancé is in there.” Harry shouts. “You fucking here me?” The man ignores him and continues pulling him down the hallway. 

“Johannah!” He shouts, doctors and nurses look at him like he needs to be in the mental ward. He’s crying now, tears down his cheeks as the security guard pushes him through the doors he came. The blond nurse before is looking at him with sadness in her eyes. The man sits Harry down.

“I’m sorry,” The man sighs, “But I’m doing my job.” 

Harry scoffs. 

“You’re gonna need to stay here and wait for the okay to visit. Wait here okay.” 

Harry frowns as the man disappears. He comes back a moment later and hands Harry a cup of coffee. 

“It’s gonna be a long wait..” He says handing Harry the coffee. “Don’t make me come back here.” 

The guard disappears and Harry takes a drink of the bitter coffee. 

If there is one thing Harry hates more than waiting, its being alone. He would much rather wait with Louis’ family, at least he’ll be comforted. Now all he has is his mind, and it won’t stop screaming. He takes another gulp and waits for the word to go see Louis. 

Harry doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there. When he opens his eyes from the sleep he accidentally fell into he sees Liam standing in front of him. 

“Liam!” Harry cries, happy to see a familiar face. Liam smiles at him and brings him into a hug. 

“Do you know anything?” Harry asks, still a tight hold to Liam’s shoulders. 

“Won’t let me in, family only.” He shakes his head, letting go of their embrace to take a seat. Harry follows, a gaping hole in his chest. He is exhausted from stress and his unquiet mind. 

“I haven’t seen any of his family, not even his mum, I told the bloody nurse to tell them I was here, but she won’t do it, bloody security threw me out.” 

Liam sighs, “I know its hard, but we have to be patient. He’s going to be alright.” 

“You don’t know that.” Harry says, feeling tears prickle at his eyes for the 50th time. He just wanted to see him. Just to look and see that he was still there, heart beating, flesh intact. He didn’t know what lay for him. The restraint was becoming too much for him. 

Liam doesn’t say anything, instead he takes Harry’s hand in his lab and holds it lightly. A wave of comfort surrounds him. Just then Johanna pushes through the doors, eyes rimmed in red, dark circles lining the underneath of her eyes. 

Harry immediately jumps up and runs over to her. She basically collapses in his arms.

“How is he?” Harry says, his muscles tensing under his shirt. 

Johannah just shakes her head and wipes her eyes with the tissue she had in her trembling hands. “Coma. Unresponsive. Some bullshit medical talk I cant understand.” 

Harry feels his heart collapse in his chest. Coma, unresponsive. 

“But he’s gonna be okay, yeah?” Harry tries. 

Johannah shakes her head, “I don’t know Harry, I honestly don’t know,” She looks down for a moment, then looks back at Harry. “He is free for visitors.” 

Harry sucks in a deep breath and practically runs into the room. He spots his sisters first, huddled around his bed, grabbing his hand and running their hands along his face. Harry stops in the door, taking in the sight. He was sickly pale, motionless. He didn’t even look like himself. Harry knows for a fact Louis would have cursed the color of his night gown, a sickly green, and would have yelled about his hair as well. He smiles sadly as Louis’ stepdad, Mark, walks over to him and places a hand on his shoulder.

“How are you son?” He asks. 

Harry just shakes his head and continues staring. 

“I’ve never seen him be this quiet before.” Harry says with a sad smile. 

Mark laughs and scratches his head. “Come on girls, lets give Harry some privacy, yeah? Who wants something from the cafeteria?” 

The girls all scrabble up giving Louis’ kisses and telling him how much they love him, then they’re gone and a long silence echoes through out the room. 

Harry doesn’t know what to say, instead just squeezes his ring finger and glances down at the now faded sharpie. 

“Hey Lou,” He clears his throat and walks over to sit by him. “How are you.” Harry shakes his head and sighs.

“I miss you like crazy,” He runs a hand through his hair. “I miss your voice.” Harry squeezes his eyes shut. “I miss your laugh, I miss seeing the color of your eyes.” 

Harry takes Louis hand and squeezes it, hoping to show Louis’ he is there. “Liam’s here, he’s probably gonna be here next.” Harry finds himself running out of words, what can he even say? He just stares, willing Louis’ eyes to open, willing him to smile and say a smart ass comment. Hope flutters in Harry’s heart when he thinks he sees Louis’ eyes flutter. They don’t open. Suddenly Harry feels as if he isn’t getting enough air. The cream colored walls look stale and the room is closing in. He takes a deep breath but struggles to find it. He has to leave. He pushes himself up from the bed and runs out of the hospital. Liam calls his name as he pushes out the door, but he ignores him. He cant stay there anymore. Cant stand the smell or the beeping of machines. He needs air. He needs to fucking breath. 

 

**Past**

“I want you to meet Liam.” Louis says, a moan escaping his lips as Harry fondles his balls. 

Harry moans, slipping his tongue down Louis shaft and slowly back up. “Sure baby.” 

“I think you’ll like him.” Louis jerks his hips up and throws his head back then he reaches the back of Harry’s throat. 

“Shh.” Harry moans, sucking Louis deeper and deeper into his mouth. It isn’t long before Louis’ is grabbing Harry’s curls and moaning his name. They both lay back and catch their breaths. 

“I want you to move in with me.” Harry says a moment later. Louis turns to look at him, eyes wide.

“Seriously?” He asks. Harry smirks and snuggles closer to him, “Yes seriously.” 

“What about Liam?” Louis asks. 

Harry freezes then scoffs. “What? Does Liam suck you off better than me?”

“Harry,” Louis sighs, “Liam has a fucking girlfriend, Christ. I just want you to meet him.” He snuggles up closer to Harry, licking along his jaw. “Please, I think you guys will get along great.” 

“I’m gonna hate him.” Harry whines. 

“You won’t, I promise.” 

Louis calls up Liam later that evening and invites him to dinner the following day. When the day finally arrives Harry has an annoyance to him and he doesn’t quite know why. Maybe it’s the fact that Louis is rushing around trying to make their apartment perfect for Liam, or maybe its because Louis insisted that Harry cook a five course feast for them. The stove heat made him sweat, and the pants Louis picked out for him made his balls itch, but was he doing it? Yes he was, all because he was in love with Louis fucking Tomlinson.

“He’s gonna be here soon.” Louis says, leaning against Harry’s back and pecking his shoulder blades. 

Harry spins around and places a soft kiss of Louis’ forehead. “Let’s just call this off yeah? Have some alone time?” Harry mumbles. 

“Harry, Liam is one of my best friends, and you are my boyfriend. You guys just can’t know each other.” Louis sighs.

“Do you like Liam more than me?” Harry then asks, embarrassment overcoming him. 

“You're crazy.” Louis smiles and scoops him up, “Of course not, I just want him to see how lucky I am.” Louis says, planting a kiss on Harry’s neck. 

Harry smiles and feels a weight lift off of him. “Okay.” He says, nuzzling Louis softly. “Let’s get this over with.” 

Liam comes and it is somewhat awkward at first, saying first hello’s, but Louis is right by Harry’s side the whole night. Cracking jokes and going on and on about how lucky he is. Liam is a cool guy, working as a local fireman and now living with his girlfriend Sophia. He loves football and is actually a really sweet guy. Harry and him get along great and they all make plans to hang out again soon. Harry is actually excited to see him again. 

++

“I told you you would love him.” Louis smirks later that evening as they’re cleaning dishes. 

Harry smiles and nods, as Louis hip bumps him. 

“I want you to be able to depend on Liam, I want you to have someone to rely on.”

Harry scoffs, but isn’t mad. “I do have friends Louis.” 

“A mutual friend that we are both close with, and Liam is understanding.” 

“I get it.” Harry nods, “I’m happy we did this.” 

Louis smiles at him. “Me too.” He scoops up a handful of bubbles out of the sink and puts them on Harry’s cheeks. 

“I love you.” He says, leaning in for a kiss. 

“I love you more.” 

 

**Thursday**

Harry wakes up his head pounding and his stomach turning in on itself. He moans and rolls around in his empty bed. Shit. He had gotten drunk last night. The worst part is, is that he doesn’t even remember it. The only thing he had memory of, is his limp boyfriends body laying on pale sheets, lifeless. That’s enough to make him drink again. He sits up and immediately feels his stomach turn. He rushes to the bathroom and vomits, acid burning his throat. He leans back and he’s crying. Not from throwing up, but from a pain much deeper than his current hangover. It was a pain he doesn’t think he’s ever felt before in his life. Loneliness, emptiness, darkness. He stands up and walks through his empty apartment. He tries his hardest to hear the things of Louis. He listens for the morning news, the smell and sound of burnt bacon being cooked. Tea brewing, doors and closets opening and closing. Louis cursing because he’s dropped something. Instead he gets nothing. Silence is all he hears. 

He throws on his jacket then and pushes out the door, leaving the silence behind. When he gets to the hospital everyone is there again. Louis is still unchanged, pale flesh and light veins. Harry spots Liam and ruffles his hair once as he pulls a chair up to Louis’ bed.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry pushes Louis’ hair out of his eyes, “How are you?” 

He spends the rest of his day there, and his night, refusing to leave when the nurses asked him. Johannah told them to let him stay, and they let him. Harry knew it was against the rules. Maybe the pitied him, or maybe they knew he wouldn’t have much longer with him. 

 

 **Past:** :

“I want to have sex with you.” Louis says as him and Harry are laying in bed, a boring documentary playing in front of them. 

Harry turns to look at him, “Are you sure?” He asks. 

Currently him and Louis have been doing everything but. Harry has wanted to feel him inside of him for so long, but he has waited until Louis has felt ready. 

“Yes I’m sure.” Louis nods. “Now.”

Harry looks over at him and feels his dick getting hard from the forcefulness of Louis’ words. 

“Now?” Harry laughs. Louis nods scooting closer. 

“Fuck me.” Louis mumbles against Harry’s ear, causing goose bumps to arise to his skin. 

“Roll over.” Harry says, throwing his shirt over his head and leaning against Louis, he lifts Louis own shirt and kisses down his back, earning a moan. 

After a while of foreplay and much kissing, Louis is on top of Harry, his dick angled outside of Harry’s hole. He is breathing heavily and Harry is hard and leaking. 

“Now.” Harry says. Louis nods and slowly pushes inside. Harry hisses, feeling his walls burn. Louis’ eyes go wide as he immediately slips out. 

“Am I hurting you?” He asks. Harry laughs openly. “No, of course not.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Before this, Louis had told Harry that he never had sex and meant it. He always bottomed and never did it for love, that is why he waited so long. Now, every move he made was made with such gentleness and concern, Harry was sure he was even more in love then he was now. 

“You sure you don’t want to fuck me?” Louis asks. 

“Louis, I’m fine, just please put it in.” Harry moans the emptiness of his hole becoming too much. 

“Okay.” Louis pushes in again and knocks into Harry. 

“Like this?” He asks, and Harry laughs again. 

“We’ll make a top out of you yet.” He says, thrusting up to meet Louis. He laughs and continues with a steady pace. 

“Am I doing okay?” Louis asks a moment later. Harry cant answer. Instead he moans and throws his head back grabbing onto Louis’ wrists. 

“I love making you feel good.” Louis adds, and Harry smiles as pleasure erupted through him, and that’s how Harry remembers their first time. Louis asking a lot of questions, making things somewhat awkward, but always throwing in his random dirty talk. Sure it might not have been candle lit and romantic, and sure they had to pause their Netflix documentary about whales, but it was the best fucking of his life, he also realized another thing, Louis was one hell of a top.

 

**Friday**

Harry was becoming desperate. Louis was having no change and it has been three days. He doesn’t think he can take it much longer. Liam still came with him everyday and Harry understands now what Louis had meant all that time ago. Someone to lean on if one of them got hurt. Liam. Harry looks over and sees Liam smiling sadly at Louis. 

“Hey Li.” He says. 

“Hey.” 

The past three days Harry and Liam have formed a deep unspoken bond that is unexplainable to most people. They came everyday and stayed. Bringing Louis’ favorite movies, and playing the grease soundtrack. They played cards and talked to Louis. They laughed and they cried, but they carried on. Nothing but hope keeping them together and stringing them along. 

On Saturday Harry falls apart. 

“What do I do, Liam.” Harry shakes his head. “He cant stay like this.. I…” Harry pauses and takes a deep breath. He cries. No he bawls. Snot coming out of his nose and salty tears seeping into his mouth. He practically screams. He was having a mental breakdown. 

“I know.” Liam says softly, running a hand along his back. “He’ll pull out of this, It’s Louis.” Liam chuckles sadly, “Hard-headed, sassy, carefree Louis. He’s gonna be fine.” He coos, trying to calm Harry down. 

“Fuck you.” Harry says. “Fuck this.” He shakes his head. “He didn't fucking deserve this. Louis was a good person. He never hurt anybody. He didn't deserve it.” Harry says again. 

“Harry.” Liam says grabbing him. “You are not alone in this, look at his family, his sisters, his god damn mother.”

“We were gonna get married. We were gonna have a life, and look at him! He’s a fucking potato.” 

“Harry you need to calm down, there is still time, he’s not gone.” 

That’s when Harry feels it for the first time. The exhaustion, the emptiness. There was no reason to take it out on Liam, he’s just trying to help.

“I know.” Harry sighs. He slumps down in his seat and buries his head in his hands. “I know.”

Liam comes over and wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulders. “This is Louis, he is going to be fine.” 

Harry sniffles and takes a deep breath, “Yeah, you’re right Liam, it’s Louis, it’s my Louis.”

It’s been three months now since Louis’ been gone and Harry is walking past their place and Harry tries to ignore the brown tables and bookshelves, all reminders of the first couple of months they spent there, getting to know each other. He can’t help it. He looks in the window and his jaw drops. He freezes in place and his heart drops to his stomach. Louis? Why is Louis at the cafe? Without realizing what he was doing, Harry pushes open the door and walks over to the lad with feathery brown hair, and a thin frame.

“Louis?” He breathes grabbing his shoulder. The lad turns around and gives him a confused look. Harry feels the dryness in his throat. He didn’t look anything like Louis. 

“I’m sorry, I think you’re—“ 

Harry didn’t get the rest for he was already pushing out of the shop and into the cold winter air. He walked for a while as hot tears ran down his cheeks, and salt water seeped into his lips. He sits down a near park bench and sees people for the first time. How many people there were in this world. They all had their own lives, their own stories. They had hopes and dreams and fears. They had memories. It starts snowing not long after he sits down, the sky turning to a sickly pale grey. His crying ceases and he sits there breathing softly, watching the own puffs of breath disintegrate into the air. Watching as they are there one minute and gone the next. There was an innocence in the air. How snow made everything glisten pure.

It’s been three months now since Louis’ been gone but Harry can still feel him. In the air, in the car, at home. He can hear his laugh in crowded places, and feel his warmth at night in bed. He can still smell him in every room he goes into. He still makes his a cup of tea in the morning out of habit. He still feels the bones of his hips and the curve of his spine. He is in the orange morning glow, and the navy darkness. He is in the storms, he is in the light. He is the air Harry breaths and the people Harry meets. He knows his fingerprints. He can hear him at midnight. He can hear his foot steps across the floor and the beat of his heart. 

_I think I'll miss him forever_

How weird time is. How one moment you can be alive and living, the next hollow and dark. How you can plan for today, without knowing there’s a tomorrow at all.


End file.
